A Memory
by BaronessBlixen
Summary: Right before she and Henry leave to escape the curse, Emma asks Regina for one more memory. AU for 03x11. Short one-shot.


**A/N**: Just a very short drabble that was like a piece of gum under my shoe – just in my brain. I can't deal with the fact that Emma doesn't remember her parents. I can't.

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She's come to know this; a love that pours over her like warm water under the shower. And she's searched for it all her life. All of her 28 years. The time she got to spend with her parents doesn't make up for all the lost time and she sees it every time when she looks into their eyes. They're always trying to catch up to something that's impossible to reach, because it is lodged in the past. But if Neverland has taught Emma anything it's that her parents love her. They're letting her go – _again_ – so she can have her own happy ending. Emma gets to be with her son, but her parents don't get to be with their daughter. Her own heart beats in time with Henry's. She will always do what is best for him. Just like they'll always do what's best for her.

There's just this little catch. Mary Margaret kisses her forehead and the emotions Emma has continuously tried to hide come tumbling out. The name she has asked Emma to call her sits on her tongue, but it won't come out. _Mom_. She thinks it and she knows this is the last time. A moment longer and she won't remember ever feeling so close to her. All this pain will be gone from her life. Regina promised her happy memories. Fake, yes, but happy. Except that Emma already knows what life feels like without knowing her parents' love. The constant question of who she is and the nagging why that never goes away. The curse is going to take this puzzle piece away from her and all she can do is run towards it. She's only just beginning to realize how much she is like them. And she doesn't want to forget it. How can she be a good parent to Henry when she has to forget _this_? As a mother she knows she can't be selfish. Henry always comes first. But there's this part of Emma that isn't a mother. It's a frightened little girl, lost and orphaned, who just wants to be held by her parents. They have shown her a warmth she knows she will never find anywhere else.

"Regina…" Emma says knowing that she's risking everything right now. "Henry, get in the car." She quickly adds and her son, who is reluctant to let his other mother go, does as he is told.

"You have to go, Emma." There's a reminder of the old Regina in her voice. The one who wanted nothing more than to get rid of Emma. But things have changed and instead of pushing her away, Regina comes closer and listens. Despite the fact that time is running out.

"I want to remember."

"I already told you it wasn't possible to preserve your memories."

"Just… give me memories of them." Emma doesn't point at her parents, but they both know who she is talking about.

"I- how would I do that? You'll still be without them."

"I just want to remember… this. I just found them and I can't just forget them. I don't want to." Regina turns around to look at the two people whose happiness she wanted to destroy 28 years ago. She had succeeded. Only now the terror in Snow White's eyes is mirrored in her own. The tearing pain that threatens to tear her body apart is one she has come to know herself. The time when she wanted to hurt the Charmings has passed. Emma is her son's mother and she wants Henry to be happy more than she wants anything else. So she'll give her this. As Regina takes Emma's hands into hers again she knows it will still hurt the younger woman. She can't give her the happiness she craves, because they can't go with her. All she can give her is a sense of closure. A memory of being wanted once.

The sun that, too, will be swallowed is the trigger for Emma's new memory. Before she finally steps into the car – and she doesn't turn around again, spares herself the last moment of pain – she tries to search her memories. Nothing is different. There's the moment she meets Henry for the first time when she tried to tell herself it couldn't be real. The first time she meets Mary Margaret. Emma can recall every time she doubted her son. The first cracks in her armor when she loses Graham, when everything Henry tells her begins to make the tiniest bit of sense. Her parents. The memories she associates with them are firmly lodged somewhere inside and with every step she takes, she fears to lose them. Mentally she repeats the moments she's shared with them hoping they won't disappear when she does.

Emma starts the car and staring into the sun, she blinks away the tears. Henry doesn't say a word. He, too, doesn't turn around. The car begins to move and they don't see the green smoke that almost swallows them and takes away everyone they love. Neither feels the change. It's a smooth transition. They don't question why they suddenly think about moments in the past. The not yet warm sun reminds Henry of days spent at the beach. A feeling of warmth spreads through him. He looks at his mother. This isn't strange to him; they often take short trips together. She wants him to see all these places, all these little wonders that the world holds. And while Henry doesn't really understand it, he knows the story behind all of this.

There's no reason for her to think about them now. Her parents. She always calls them that in her mind despite the fact that they gave her up as a baby. When Henry was little, she finally found them. It happened by chance, really. With their address on a piece of paper, she and her son had simply packed a suitcase one day and then they'd driven the 300 miles to where they lived. On their way Emma had taken all kinds of pictures of herself and Henry. Just to remember this moment. With her son clinging to her tightly, she had knocked on the door of the unremarkable house.

"May I help you?"

Her mother's voice is something Emma is certain she'll never forget. She spent nights in foster care where she'd longed to hear it, to soothe her. To this day, she sometimes recaptures the day she met her parents when she feels alone or lost. Clouds pass by overhead in the sky and darken the sunshine for a short moment. Her parents are a memory that she carries within her; it's bittersweet and it stings and it soothes. The phone call she got a few weeks later after she met them for the first time. _We're sorry, but…_ the sun fights its way through the clouds and Emma smiles looking at her son. She still misses her parents sometimes. But it's different now. She knew them. She knows facts and tidbits about them. Many a time facts are cold, not tangible. Emma mixes them with the faces she saw that day and the stories they told her. She has long forgiven them for giving her up. Her parents aren't in her life, but she knows having met them has made her a better parent to Henry. The boy grins at her; soon they'll be home again.

Emma doesn't remember how they ended up here or why she feels so wistful for just a moment. It passes as every moment does. Like so many before them, it cements itself in her heart where it becomes a new memory.

_**The End**_


End file.
